Take care: To use for advantages at work, in case you are an aged caregiver

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Editor's Note: This story was originally published in October 2018.

Usha Tewari has two full-time jobs but only pays for one.

Tewari works as an administrator for the real estate appraiser for Orange County in Orlando, Florida. However, she took an unpaid job on January 28, 2017, the day her mother, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, moved in with her.

Tewari made the decision to take her mother, Mila, after noticing that rehab facility staff did not convince Mila to take her medicine or eat her meals.

She found that the alternatives were limited – care facilities offer different standards of care, and dementia diagnosis eliminates the need for many more cost-effective options.

"I was very frustrated with the process," says Tewari, who could not afford to use mind-care facilities that paid thousands of dollars a month in feeding and bathing her mother, in addition to the base price. "I realized that I can not rely on other people, I have to find out for myself.

"Basically, I had no choice but to learn how to balance my work and take care of it."

Tewari is one of the More than 40 million Americans who provide unpaid care for the elderly, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. This number is expected to rise, like Older people will have more children by 2030 than older onesPopulation projections of the Census Bureau.

And like Tewari, most family carers can not just quit their job to look after family members all day long.

Although the care situation is unique to all, we have provided expert advice on caregiver benefits and rights, as well as tips from caregivers in the field, to help you achieve a work-life balance.

Benefits to employees who work for nurses

With the help of her friend Peggy Gustave (left), Usha helps her mother walk through her neighborhood in Orlando. Downtown life makes Usha close to her job. Tina Russell / The Penny Hoarder

In this tight labor market, more and more companies are expanding their services to attract and retain employees. General Mills, for example, added two weeks paid holiday for family carers To check your employer's policies before you start talking.

A Nursing Resource is an Employee Assistance Program, a corporate intervention program.

The benefits under these plans are very different. So it's worth exploring what your company offers Society for personnel management,

"The EAP benefits may include support groups … and programs to support an employee's economic stability during a crisis," says Birbal. "The plan may also cover a wide range of other services, such as telephone access for nurse counseling, basic legal assistance … or assistance in finding aged care services."

Learn about your employer's policy on telework, flextime, and compressed work weeks to help you plan your care responsibilities.

If your employer does not list specific family care benefits in your employee handbook, you can use this as an opportunity to share these benefits with your employer.

Know your caregiver rights as an employee

A woman is holding a photo of her mother who died of brain tumor.

Amanda Singleton holds her mother's last photo before she died of brain cancer. "We have never taken pictures since then, because the treatment really devastated her and made her feel so uncomfortable," said Singleton. "Having these pictures that make her beautiful and happy really means the world to me." Tina Russell / The Penny Hoarder

Before starting a conversation with your employer about your caring responsibilities, you should first investigate what you have a legal right to.

If you've worked for a company with 50 or more employees for at least one year, you can qualify for 12 weeks of unpaid leave annually Family Leave Act,

Depending on your state, you may have additional rights to paid leave – eight states and Washington D.C. have passed laws that provide for this paid family vacation,

During your approved vacation, employers are required by law to maintain group health benefits and can not fill your position.

If you do not live in one of these states, FMLA offers some relief to caregivers. However, if you run out of time, you're at the mercy of an employer, attorney Amanda Singleton of St. Petersburg, Florida, states.

In 2010, Singleton worked at a law firm when her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and she suddenly needed 24-hour care.

Singleton occasionally tried to use her spare time this year to take care of her mother. Two months before her mother's death, the company's human resources department told her that she had used all of her FMLA time.

Singleton was told she could either resign or be fired if she did not miss work. Knowing that her mother did not have to live long, she chose the latter.

"It was a really big kick in my teeth when I was down," says Singleton. "I lost my mother and I would lose my job."

Singleton then founded her own law firm Singleton Legal, which specializes in the protection of the rights of caregivers.

The story of a woman about the compatibility of work and care

A woman is eating while sitting on her bed.

Mila Tewari eats a lunch prepared by her daughter. "She's really far away," Usha said of her mother. "You can not have a normal conversation with her, it's very limiting." Tina Russell / The Penny Hoarder

Tewari says that several factors have enabled her to keep her job while taking care of her job.

The first is location. Tewari can walk to work so she can see her mother at lunchtime or rush home if there's an emergency.

Tewari also opted for an apartment complex with security personnel.

"Fortunately, they understand my situation very well, so if my mom does not answer the phone right away, I'll send security to make sure she did not fall," says Tewari. "I had to do that in one or two cases.

"Unfortunately, I have to pay a bit more rent, but I have this peace rather than living in a house."

Second, Tewari hired a caregiver to help her mother bathe and help prepare food. The caregiver charges $ 14 per hour and passes twice a week for a total of 10 hours.

"That's all I can afford at the time," says Tewari.

And finally, Tewari relies on technology if it can not find help elsewhere.

"I have a camera installed," she says. "I look at my mother over the camera and call her to make sure everything is okay."

Tewari also feels happy to have understanding employees and managers. "There are quite a few who take care of their own parents," she notes.

Talk to your employer about caring responsibilities

A mother is comforted by her daughter outside her home.

Usha comforts her mother. While Usha is at work, a camera in the apartment helps her to check on her mother's well-being. Tina Russell / The Penny Hoarder

Although the timing is not always up to you, the sooner you can talk to your employer, the better you can negotiate accommodation for your caring responsibilities, advises Jana Panarites, author and presenter of Agewyz podcast on care and healthy aging,

"Talk about your care responsibilities before you find yourself in a crisis situation," says Panarites, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2009 by her mother. "The last thing you want to do is make decisions under duress – you will already be stressed out."

In retrospect, Singleton wishes she had negotiated with her employer right after her mother's diagnosis.

"Caregivers often need a year to ask for help," says Singleton. "Ask early and often for help – whether it's your family members, your friends, your neighbors or your employers – they can not understand it if they were not there themselves or you tell them."

And if you're just beginning your career, caring duties need not be a deterrent to getting a job, as long as you discuss your needs early, advises Birbal.

"You do not want to give the impression that you are only interested in one place because of their services," says Birbal. "Around the third and fourth interview I would address the issue, but at that point I would be very transparent so that the employer is not surprised."

To start the conversation

An old family who was photographed is framed and put on a bookshelf in a family home.

A framed photo, left, a young Mila in India, is standing on a table in the apartment. Tina Russell / The Penny Hoarder

Being open and honest from the beginning is the key, as family care for an employer may not be as natural as caring for family members, said Jisella Dolan, Global Advocacy Officer of Instead, home,

"When someone goes on maternity leave, it's pretty obvious he has a baby," says Dolan. "But if you have a sick parent, that's not always obvious."

By presenting your position in relation to the benefits your employer already offers, you can pave the way for additional support.

Talk about your caring duties before you get into a crisis situation. The last thing you want to do is make decisions under duress – you will already be stressed out.

"We talk about flexibility and backup care as well as resources and support – it's very helpful if you're a parent, and it's very helpful if you're a family carer," says Dolan. "I think a very simple question is: what resources do we have for parents in the workplace and will these resources also help family caregivers?"

Tewari says that maintaining good relationships in their workplace is crucial to being honest with their commitments and commitment to their job right from the start.

"Keep an open communication with HR, your managers and directors about your situation," says Tewari. "If I run 20 minutes late in the morning, if I have a challenge with my mother, I just send them a message … that's usually not a problem.

"You have to build trust on both sides."

Do not forget to take care of yourself

A daughter cuts off the fingernails of the mother.

Usha cuts her mother's fingernails into her apartment. "She would always have dinner parties," Usha said, talking about her mother's life from Alzheimer's. "She was very outgoing. The opposite is the case. "Tina Russell / The Penny Hoarder

It's easy to get lost in your responsibilities as a caregiver and employee, but you should not forget to take care of yourself.

Tewari prioritizes her health by training when she can.

"I have to find time to take care of myself, because when I get sick, there's no one to look after my mother," says Tewari, who has been taking a second blood pressure medication since her mother moved in. Now that's it drastically shortened.

"But if I do not need 45 minutes, I've learned that that's acceptable, even if I get 20 minutes."

And although she knows her mother's condition is going to deteriorate, Tewari tries to focus on what she can do in the present – whether it's a piling or taking friends' help – and herself Resting day after day.

"To be honest, I'm very stressed about having to think about how things will be in the future," says Tewari. "It does not help me, it just brings me down, so every day I try to stay mentally strong and take it as it comes."

Resources for family caregivers

It can be stressful enough to reconcile work and care without wasting time searching for resources. The following websites provide legal, medical, financial and emotional support:

Department of Health & Human Services: Senior Care The law was signed in January 2018 RAISE Family Caregivers Act Instructs the Ministry of Health and Human Services to develop a national strategy to support carers. His resources include this Website looking for care options for the elderly by postal code or service.

AARP: The national organization provides resources for the nurses on its website Free webinar for working supervisors,

Family Caregiver Alliance: This non-profit organization provides links that are organized after illness through the website Family carer navigator, Also offers search options for utilities and legal resources.

National Agency of the Association of Aging: Search by postal code for local Regional agencies for agingThis can help determine the availability of programs that pay family members to provide care.

Daughters at work: Instead, this resource from home contains articles and advice specifically designed to care for people Women in the workplace,

Community Resource Finder of the Alzheimer's Association: Search for Alzheimer-specific community programs by postal code. The association's 24-hour hotline also provides crisis relief and education for Alzheimer's and dementia patients: 800-272-3900

Cancer Care: The website of this national organization offers free support services, educational workshops and financial support for Cancer patients and their caregivers,

National Association of County Veterans Service Officers: The club's website looks for areas of service for both Veterans and their caregivers,

Hilarity for Charity: This organization was founded in 2012 by Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller Rogen awards scholarships for home care for those who provide their relatives with Alzheimer's disease or other dementias in the US and Canada.

Tiffany Wendeln Connors is author and editor of The Penny Hoarder. Read her bio and other work here, then she starts on Twitter @TiffanyWendeln.

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